waiting...

 As of late, waiting seems to be my latest life lesson.  Not that I have never had to wait before, but it seems lately we are waiting for so many things. Waiting for Garren's body to heal while his family endures this painful time having no idea of what the outcome will look like exactly has been emotionally difficult for everyone.  I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be in Geoffery and Nancy's place.  Don and I have been praying along with our children that God will heal Garren's body completely but like all involved, we wait.  Wait on God, for daily miracles and waiting for the natural healing time of his brain along with the rest of his body.

As I was digging around in my compost, I realized that it had turned into beautiful soil, not overnight, trust me.  When we first moved here our soil was rock like clay, near impossible to dig and completely unworthy of planting anything in.  We added to the pile: left over rotting veggies, peels, grasses, more soil, cardboard and water and slowly but surely the soil became rich and lush.  I was actually stunned as I was digging in it last weekend, at the beautiful loamy earth that turned over with ease.  Time just passed with this and I was oblivious to the waiting.  Sometimes life is like that, you just wait unaware but usually the waiting is very noticeable.

  Remembering our empty backyard upon moving here is also incredible to me.  We slowly added plants and vegetation, raised beds, trees and flowers until it was so lush last year that I almost felt as if I was back home in Vancouver. However, over the years I thought it would always be sparse and barren.This year as I look out at the dead grass, empty beds, brown backyard, it feels like the wait is forever and possibly the colours will never return.

Don and I have been working towards some big life changes that have kept me from blogging as much and I feel as if I am losing so many great relationships from in this blog world.  People who are so inspiring to me, I have spent so little time chatting with as of the past while.  All of our focus seems to be in prayer, running around after kids, chauffeuring and working on our life plan.  I will tell you part of the plan is to live a lifestyle similar to this , we are also in the beginning stages of roasting our own coffees, along with a lot of other changes I will save to tell you all about later.  All of this is creating more waiting.  Waiting and not knowing what the outcomes of relationships, work, life in general and a lot of other things will be, seems to have become our story as of late. 

It is kind of humorous the amount of trust in the past I have put into a false sense of control of our lives.

Ultimately we are always waiting but sometimes we simply don't see it.  While our children are at school, we are trusting God with their lives as they bus, sit in classes, etc., we trust that our jobs will be there for us everyday, that our paychecks will show up, that nature will continue in the same manner, that the Earth will continue on its safe path around the sun, so it is funny to me when I  occasionally really wake up to the fact that we aren't in control.  In those moments I find a great need to grow in patience and trust.

Patience and Trust while we wait are beautiful gifts and attributes.  Trust that we are in the place we are meant to be in at this very moment, trust that you can rest in every circumstance and trust in a God that is good and he is able to take care of us at all times, both at the times we have our eyes opened to our own lack of control over our universe and even in the times we don't.  When we trust knowingly,  patience seems to grow in us as we wait.

Someone said in a prayer group we attended recently for Garren, that the underside of a rug or tapestry is not so beautiful to us.  Not many can see the beauty from this side of life's tapestry but I believe on the other side we will understand.

Until then, we wait.

Hoping you all will be patient with me while we busily make some life shifts and changes.
If some of our blogging friends would like to connect with us more regularly throughout this time feel free to add us on facebook.
Wishing you all a lovely weekend.

Love,

~dee

xoxo